No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
