I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
