it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
