The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
