Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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