i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
