PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
