the condom got lost in my hair
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
