This dress was meant to end up on your floor
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
That's how pantless uber rides happen
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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