I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
