I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
