he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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