And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
we're so committed to being not committed
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize