I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
