this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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