I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
