I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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