I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i dont even know how to be here
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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