I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
