i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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