...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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