mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
