white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
