Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
