I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you traded sex for a burrito?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
