If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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