I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
