he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
