I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
