Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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