It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
