69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
