did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
