I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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