There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
