Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
