It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
it hurts more in the daytime
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
