You smell like stripper and shame
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
