I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
