Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
