Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
