Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
