OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
