I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
