Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
