I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
