so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
