My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
