please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
