Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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