I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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