This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
