my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
