We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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