More tranny stories later!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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