Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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