omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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