I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i would punch a child for taco bell
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
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