morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
