Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
