How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
