Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
