I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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