I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
