True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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