She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
All I want is dick and wine.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
