she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Randomize