I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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