Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
high people should be assigned attendants
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
