So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
