My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
