Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she peed on how many people?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
