ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize