fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
