My hand turned me down
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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