This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
